


Losing Face

by dahyunsgcf



Category: Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Exile, Ghostbur, Implied Self-Harm, Open Ending, Panic Attacks, Post-Exile, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Quackity is an Asshole, Sad TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Stockholm Syndrome, TommyInnit Angst (Video Blogging RPF), but its not graphic and is only mentioned a few times, dream is in the prison, its just nail stuff, lmanberg, memory loss but not rlly its just ptsd gaps, no romantic relationships
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-16
Updated: 2020-12-16
Packaged: 2021-03-10 18:09:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28101444
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dahyunsgcf/pseuds/dahyunsgcf
Summary: tommy hasn't been the same since his return from exile.
Relationships: Alexis | Quackity & TommyInnit, Clay | Dream & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Dave | Technoblade & Wilbur Soot & TommyInnit & Phil Watson, Floris | Fundy & TommyInnit, Niki | Nihachu & TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF), Toby Smith | Tubbo & TommyInnit, TommyInnit & Phil Watson (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 35
Kudos: 889





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> if any ccs say they're uncomfortable with this, please lmk so I can delete it :)

Tubbo will never forget how he felt when Tommy returned.

It had been a long, hard battle, but it was worth it to be able to see his blonde-haired, loud, and occasionally obnoxious friend. It took endless searching and many failed attempts to contact him after he had run away from the remains of Logstedshire.

Tubbo still feels the shakiness in his hands- sees the fear in Ranboo's eyes, when they couldn't find him. Dream, of course, was no help, only smirking at their questions- their pleas.

When he saw Phil carrying an exhausted Tommy into Lmanburg, Tubbo cried. He truly cried tears of happiness, something he forgot he could feel.

Then, he woke up, and it was scary. His eyes seemed lifeless, drained of all their color. He smiled, but it didn't make it to his cheekbones. He was skinny, his ribs showing through his clothes, and he looked like he hadn't been clean in months.

"So, how's it been in Lmanburg?" Tommy asked while eating some mushroom soup, staring into the bowl. He was more playing with the food than eating it, reminiscing on Mooshroom Henry and his unfortunate death.

Tubbo played with his fingers, hesitating to answer before replying, "It's been fine. Quiet, but fine." Tubbo didn't mention how it was only quiet because Tommy wasn't there. How every time someone said a joke, it just didn't land the same way as it did with Tommy.

Tommy tutted, whispering, "Quiet, eh?" He inhaled a large breath before turning to face his friend, "It's okay! You have me back, so you don't have to worry about quiet!" Tubbo smiled, but he didn't like the way Tommy's hands shook, the way he avoided eye contact.

"We've missed you, Tommy," Tubbo said in a softer voice, a small frown on his face.

"You could've visited me, you know. Or have come to my beach party." Tommy's voice turned hostile, "You could've. Nothing was stopping you."

"I didn't think you- wait, a beach party? What beach party?" Tubbo said, confusion flickering across his face.

"Don't act stupid, Tubbo. I invited you to my party and nobody showed up! Not a single person! Except-" Tommy cut himself off, wiping a stray tear from falling down his face. "I don't want to talk to you right now."

Tubbo protested, "Wait, no, let me explain!"

"Go away, Tubbo!" Tommy shouted, knocking his soup off his bed. "I don't want to talk to you." His voice dropped into nothing but a whisper.

Tubbo bit his lip, standing up from his chair at Tommy's bedside. He picked up the bowl from the ground, "Get some sleep," he murmured before turning towards the door. "I missed you," he added.

Tommy sighed, leaning back in his bed as he watched his friend go. He hadn't meant to get angry. _God, why are you such a child, you should know better. He's just being nice._ He quickly shook his head at the Dream's voice in his mind. 

_You deserve this. They don't like you anyway's. Why would they?_ Tommy banged his head against the headboard, trying to get the thoughts to leave. He was tired of hearing his voice. _He's gone._ He assured himself, taking in a large breath.

He closed his eyes, silently hoping someone would come in to talk to him- to reassure him that he wasn't alone. 

A few weeks had passed since Tommy's return. He had seemingly returned to his normal, loud self, and his friends couldn't be happier. 

"Quackity, come put some wood over here!" Tubbo's cheerful voice rang out through the forest. He, Quackity, Fundy, and Tommy were all working on a new bee farm since Dream destroyed the other one. 

"Make Tommy do it! He never does anything!" Quackity groaned from where he sat in the grass.

Tommy subtly flinched, _"God, Tommy, you're such a waste of space! Why don't you ever help with anything around here?" Dream groaned angrily. "Sorry, Dream. Please don't leave!" Tommy pleaded."_

"I got it." Tommy moved towards the ladder to the roof, climbing up slowly. "Actually, how about we take a break?" Tubbo asked, "I actually have a surprise!" 

Tommy smiled, "Dude I love presents!" Quackity sat up, "I'll get Niki and Fundy." As soon as he left his vision, the younger walked towards Tommy.

"Are you okay, dude? You looked kind of-" Tommy cut him off, "I'm great! This is the most fun I've had in a while!" He said, his eyes crinkling with the forced smile. Tubbo narrowed his eyes, "That's good, I guess."  
  
_Great, you've made him uncomfortable._

Tommy had thought with time, these thoughts would go away- but they had only gotten worse. "Oh look, they're back!" Tommy pointed a little too enthusiastically in the direction of the trio. 

"What's this surprise you have?" Niki questioned, sitting down with the group. As she played with the rings on her fingers, she joked, "Should I be worried?"

"No, of course not!" Tubbo laughed, pulling out his enderchest.

Tommy's mouth opened in shock when he saw Tubbo place a jukebox and put Mellohi on. "You still have it?" He whispered in awe. Tubbo frowned, "Of course I do."

After a few moments of chatting, they went back to work. Tommy finished up the roof while everyone else decorated the inside. 

He knew he shouldn't have turned the disk back on, but he heard Quackity yelling at Fundy about the floor. He didn't like yelling, so obviously, he tried to drown it out in the music.

As he turned it on, he heard stomping behind him. Turning towards the angry footprints, he saw Quackity. "God Tommy! Do you ever turn off those _fucking_ discs?" It shouldn't have scared him. It was Quackity- Big Q. He would never hurt him.

_"Tommy, I don't understand why you care about those discs so much. I mean, they're just discs." Dream mocked, a smirk visible from underneath his mask. "You're such a fucking child."_

_"Stop fucking talking. You're getting on my nerves." Dream smacked him across the face. He had never done that before._

_"Where did you get that disc?" Dream grabbed his arm, digging his nails into it. "Give it to me right now, Tommy, or I swear to God I will kill you!"_

Tommy couldn't breathe. His head was spinning and he couldn't remember where he was. He felt cold, but also hot at the same time. "Tommy, are you okay?" He felt somebody touch him and he flinched away, "Don't touch me!" He shouted, backing away.

Fundy looked at Quackity, "What the hell did you do?" He whispered, a furious look on his face. "I-I don't know. I just-" Quackity stuttered, terrified by the sight in front of him.

"Whats going on?" Tubbo and Niki came out from the Bee Reserve, gasping at Tommy's tear-filled face. "What happened?" Niki asked, trying to remain calm.

"Tommy, what's wrong?"

_"What's wrong, Tommy? Can't handle a little pain? What a wimp."_

Tommy flinched away from the voice, "Please go away." He whispered.

"What do we need to do to help you, Tommy? Tell us, please. We're your friends."

_"I'm your friend Tommy, you can trust me!"_

"You're my only friend, Dream." Tommy cried, falling onto the ground. He wrapped his arms around his knees and sobbed into his thighs. "Don't leave me, Dream!"


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> this was only supposed to be a one-shot but people asked for more so :) if you like this please consider checking out my other works!

"What the hell was that, Phil?" Tubbo asked, his voice quivering. They had just returned home after Tommy calmed down a bit. Phil was visiting from the newly rebuilt Arctic Empire when he received the news of his son's meltdown.

"It was probably a flashback, Tubbo." Ghostbur supplied from where he was standing next to Phil. "He felt like he was back with Dream."

Quackity crossed his arms nervously, his face guilty. "I'm sorry, this is my fault." He said quietly, completely unlike his normal personality. Fundy shook his head, "No it's not, man. You couldn't have known." He reassured him, patting him on the back.

"Wait, what exactly is a flashback?" Tubbo asked, glancing at Quackity with concern.

"Well- it's like, someone can say or do something and your brain sends you back to when something similar happened but in a traumatic way. So, Quackity yelled at him like he would've done a few months ago, but instead of seeing it as a joke, Tommy felt like it was Dream." Ghostbur explained.

Quackity looked like he was going to throw up, while Phil looked nervous. "Ghostbur, how do you know so much about it?" He asked, praying that the answer wasn't what he thought it was.

"Oh, I get them all the time!" Ghostbur said cheerfully, the smile on his face genuine, "But don't worry. I never remember what they're about."

Phil frowned at his late son, shaking his head slowly. "Quackity, you don't need to feel guilty," he assured the younger. It wasn't anybody's fault but Dream's, and Tommy was never going to see that man again.

  
"Did you guys hear what he was saying?" Niki said softly, her expressions showing her sadness. "He was begging for Dream to stay with him," Fundy said, his brows furrowed. "I don't want to even think about why he would say that."

"Do you think he actually believes Dream is his friend?" Fundy asked, playing around with the hem of his shirt. Phil sighed before he nodded, "Yeah, I do. He was the only one constantly visiting him. Besides Ghostbur, but even he stopped going once he got busy in Lmanburg."

Ghostbur frowned for a split second before his typical peaceful look resurfaced, "I was just helping. I didn't know it would upset him." Phil gave a reassuring smile, "Don't worry, you couldn't have known."

Their conversation was cut off by Tommy appearing from behind a door. "Hey, guys! What's up?" He said cheerfully, "Having another party without me?" His voice cracked a little but his expression remained the same.

"Tommy are you ok-" Ghostbur was cut off by Tommy's loud voice, "Did you guys finish the bee farm? We need to get that done fast!" 

Phil inhaled a large breath before smiling, "Not yet, son. Ranboo and Puffy are finishing it right now. It'll be done soon." Tubbo looked at the older man, confused. Why wasn't he asking if Tommy was okay?

"That's good! I was hoping I would get to help some more, but at least now I get to spend some time with my friends!" The teenager smiled, ignoring the weird looks he noticed from the group.

Fundy wrapped his arms around Tommy, "Of course, man! We missed spending time with you!" _He's lying,_ Tommy thought to himself, _If they missed you so much, why didn't they visit you?_

"I missed you too." He said a bit quieter, slightly pushing the boy off of him. He noticed how Fundy's face dropped at the blatant rejection, but he chose to ignore how it pricked at his heart. 

"How about we watch some movies! Here, take some blue!" Ghostbur hastily changed the subject, giving Tommy the dye.

  
"Thanks, Big G! Let's watch Cars!"  
  


Everybody laughed at that request, temporarily forgetting about their problems. 

It had been a few hours since the movie ended and everybody in the group was asleep. Quackity and Fundy were splayed across each other, while Niki was asleep on the ottoman. Ghostbur was gone, probably in the sewers since he didn't sleep, and Phil was laying on the floor. 

Tubbo noticed the shaking figure next to him, sitting up from his rest. "Tommy," he whispered, shaking the boy slightly, "Tommy wake up." He read somewhere that moving someone while they were having a nightmare wasn't a good idea, so he tried to use words to wake him up.

"Dream please don't leave." He heard him whisper, barely audible. "I can't do this anymore."

Tubbo took in a deep breath at the next words, "Please don't hit me."

He decided that was enough and shook the boy forcefully, waking him up. "Please stop!" Tommy yelled as he woke up. He breathed heavily, taking in his surroundings. He realized he had screamed when he noticed his friends waking up. "Sorry, Tommy. I had to wake you up." Tubbo whispered nervously, "I didn't mean to scare you."

"What's going on?" Fundy asked, but his mouth was covered by Niki, who hushed him quietly. "It's okay, big man. Just had a little bit of a dream, not too big of a deal." Tommy laughed, blinking tears out.

Tubbo bit his mouth. What had Dream done to Tommy to make him like this? He was a completely different person. Normally if he had a nightmare, he would've immediately told everyone how brave he was in it, but instead, he's trying to act like it never happened.

"What happened to you?" Tubbo croaked with his lips in a tight frown.

"Nothing, Tubbo." Tommy reassured, his face faltering a little. Phil noticed how his nails pushed into his arm.

Tubbo sighed, leaning back onto the couch. "Okay." 

"I'm going back to sleep, guys, you should too! Long day ahead!" Tommy smiled, wrapping his body around a blanket.

"Goodnight," Niki murmured, the concern oozing from her voice. "Night, man." Quackity said as he tried to control his body's quivering. "Yeah." Fundy added, leaning back against the floor.

Phil took note of Tubbo's silence and the stray tear that fell down the kid's face. _Too young,_ he thought to himself before he closed his eyes and went to sleep. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i was thinking of a chapter where they visit dream in the prison but im not sure. lmk in the comments how you'd feel about that!
> 
> sorry about the short chapter, I got stuck a bit at the end.
> 
> i know they aren't really approaching tommy properly about his PTSD but I feel like the only person with any idea how to handle it would be Phil, and he's currently just evaluating tommys condition. everyone else is relatively young so I don't think they'd have much experience with this.

**Author's Note:**

> i know this is rlly bad i was just bored and wanted to write some aftermath of the exile


End file.
